I didn't shave. On purpose
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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