Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
