it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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