Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
