My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
