yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
