Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
