If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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