I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
