I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
