you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
