She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
