Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
