she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
