Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Randomize
