Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
