we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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