you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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