Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
