if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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