my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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