I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
