You made me cry and you don't even care
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
