Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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