Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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