but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
