i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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