So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
They have beer where we have blood.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
