I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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