my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
