the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
