Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
