He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
