Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
