She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize