Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
