I got chris browned last night
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
