You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
