do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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