She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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