Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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