ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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