pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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