It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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