I think I died a long time ago.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
