They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
