I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
