I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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