Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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