names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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