There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize