Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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