i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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