Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
