When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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