i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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