just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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